Long Distance Relationships (Why They're Worth it & Why They Suck)

So, as most of you that I was dating my boyfriend, Ben when I left California. Most of the time, when I would talk with people about my move to Texas, a popular question would be “what’re you and Ben going to do?”

Most people would assume that we were going to break up the second my car left the driveway- hell, at first that was we had talked about happening. Of course, we ended up getting even closer rather than farther apart, so when the time came, we just couldn’t say “goodbye”. We knew going into it that long distance relationships have a very low survival rate and that even if they do last they are incredibly difficult to maintain.

Well, we were partially right. Long distance relationships are ridiculously hard to work through- simply because not being able to see and spend time with each other in person sucks- however, we have expanded our communication skills quite a bit, and seen parts of relationships that most people never get to see.

Cons:

-No touching: Let’s be mature and real about this- it sucks being away from your significant other, whether they’re on vacation or just away for a day or two. Add 1,700 miles of distance and three months… goodness, it’s awful. This aspect- of not being allowed physical intimacy is the number one reason that most people would never even attempt a LDR.

-No going out: I’ve got to be honest, this is the most difficult thing for me to cope with. My love language is that of spending quality time with my love, so being restricted to letters and computer cameras is really constricting my love tank.

-All you can do is talk: I absolutely love talking with Ben and we can talk for hours upon hours- but some days, neither of us are in the mood. Sometimes all either of us wants to do is just be intimate and watch a movie or read together, which are enjoyable but not as satisfying activities as they would be in person.

-Miss big events: Ben’s birthday is next week, which I hate that I have to miss. Valentine’s Day, choir concerts, birthday’s, holidays… We’re both missing out on being there in person for a lot of things.

Pros:

-We get to see each other: We are so lucky to live in a day and age where we can talk to each other through video chat. Though it’s not the same as talking in person, it’s the closest that we’ve got and it gives us the opportunity to maintain that “in person” affect that we wouldn’t have if it were like twenty years earlier (well like, we wouldn’t be alive but you get what I mean).

-We make talking a priority: A lot of couples (especially young couples) don’t prioritize talking to each other about:

~Each other’s day

~Dreams

~Needs

~Desires

Since having moved away, I’ve learned of so many more reasons to love Ben (and there were already so many!) and I’m still learning things every day <3

(If you don't know the meme, I apologize.)

-We get creative: Recently, we’ve started watching Gotham together, which has made watching TV even more special (because I’m partially watching my love). It’s really just super important to keep coming up with ways to spice things up, that way we keep feeding our love to keep it strong.

-Distance makes the heart grow fonder: It’s crazy, I’ve gone almost three months without seeing him and I only keep loving him more and more. I’m going back home to visit for the first time in two weeks and I just know that all of the effort that we have put into keeping us alive is going to be so worth it.

-More special when we do get to see each other: For the whole week that I am there, we are going to do everything that we have been talking about for the past three months. It’s so easy to just say “let’s stay home and just watch TV” when you see someone every day- but when you don’t have the time to spend doing special things with someone, it makes it that much more important to make the most out of your time with someone. Of course we are still going to have a do nothing day, but we’ll also be doing so many more things together 😊

-We still have each other: Despite all of the difficulties of being away from each other, it’s all only been worth it. I still get to talk to my best friend every day, about the good things and the bad. He’s such a treasure to me and I am so overjoyed with how far we have come together.

With all including the cons being said, LDRs are painful but worth it- because even though we hurt sometimes from missing one another, he makes me feel so loved and so incredibly happy that I know everything will all be worth it. Even if for some reason this doesn’t work, I’ll only be happy that we gave it the best shot that we could.

#love #longdistance #relationships #prosandcons #taken #working #makingitwork #boyfriend #girlfriend