You Emit Your Own Energy (But so Does Your Environment)

You've probably heard the phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Primarily used in playground talk when talking to 8 year old haters- or on the internet, talking to 35 year old haters. With its primary focus being to silence the enemy and let him know that unless he beats you with rocks, he isn't going to make any tangible impact on your life.

Well, is it true?

Everyone wants to believe that they have control over their own thoughts and behavior, but in reality most people don't. Humans act on impulse and in correlation with habit, and often times this means that we do let words hurt us because we impulsively throw those words into the "I care" bucket of our minds. If someone walked up to me and said "you're fat" well, physically I'd be fine, but I'd sure as hell be thinking about it for the rest of the month.

Note how I said that most people don't have control. Dr. Charles F. Glassman, author of Brain Drain describes this the most accurately:

"“Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt you…unless you believe them. Then, they can destroy you.”

When I was a senior in high school, I was super excited to take AP Psychology. I've always been fascinated by the brain and the way our perceptions and feelings concoct different habitual and emotional reactions- I hope to study it in college one day. I remember and took away many things from the class, but the one that I mentally reference almost daily is the Stanford Prison Experiment.

In short, as not to turn this into a history lesson:

Philip Zimbardo organized an experiment in 1971 to study the affects that an environment has on people. That experiment entailed paying a bunch of college students $15 a day to become either a policeman or a prisoner (at random) for two weeks. The prisoners were arrested and sent to a makeshift prison. He went all out with it, they were read their Miranda rights, fingerprinted and stripped naked to be checked for health and cleanliness.

The officers were purposely abusive, getting irate over minor actions and giving out push ups as punishments. By the beginning of the second day, there was a rebellion. Students were becoming clinically disturbed and depressed, and even Zimbardo was playing the role too seriously. A series of events led to the study being terminated a week and a half early.

The takeaway? It is so important to practice mindfulness and awareness, as to give yourself the chance to form an internal locus of control. We cannot control people, only ourselves and so doing things like meditation, journaling and other wholesome activities will help to support your inner peace, so that no one else can tamper with it.

However; certain environments can be toxic and inhibiting. and if you can remove yourself from a mentally harmful situation or group of people, you should do it. You have options, whether it be to leave your toxic work environment or disassociate from a bad group of people. Find an environment that is going to inspire your growth and people that only want to help you grow- that make you more of the person that you know yourself to be.

If you have nowhere to go, or no way out- family that you don't like or maybe you're in a seriously messed up situation, sometimes all you can do is get creative. Wake up before everyone else and work on yourself, lock yourself in the bathroom, for just enough time to write a page in your journal. Some people will do their best to remain a higher power than you, but just remember that no matter the situation, no one can change who you are- unless you let them.