How to Maintain Control When Change Tries to Inspire Chaos
- Aubrey Rose
- Aug 20, 2018
- 3 min read
Life isn't meant to be orderly or leisurely. If you're living to your highest capability, you should be challenged by yourself or others on a daily basis. This doesn't mean that you can't kick back and relax on occasion- I only mean to emphasize that growth is adaptation which is only inspired by change.
The past couple of months have been some of the most disorderly, stressful, and challenging of my life. While it seems that I am soon to gain control, it also seems that it is this particular moment that precedes more chaos. The same pattern seems to follow all of our most in-depth development.
Before & After
As an example from the past 6 months of my life: In February, I moved to California and settled into my work and home life. Then, I became cripplingly depressed and started to rely heavily on alcohol and marijuana to "fix my problems". Then, I switched to a better job and quit the drugs- a few months later my living situation didn't work out and I am now adjusting to working two jobs and living with my dad.
I wasn't joking about the pattern.
What I would like to distinguish, however, is the difference between positive and negative chaos. While most of the things that I listed above were negative, the moments during which I followed a light through the unknown and away from a toxic situation were all positive.
Positive chaos is meant to describe the transitional period that precedes the establishment of a better situation. This could be the first couple of months of living with your significant other, starting your dream job, packing and preparing to move into a new home, or completing a certification program so that you can increase your worth and abilities.
Each goal presents one with challenges- but it isn't just the accomplishment that grants satisfaction. It is the completion of such challenges that builds the immense pride and joy that comes from actually achieving. Success is determined by how hard one worked to achieve his or her goal- not the degree to which you were able to minimize your efforts.
During such a guided walk through the unsettling unknown, it is imperative that you recognize:
Though you may be overwhelmed and unsure, as long as you continue to productively move forward, things will almost always turn out for the best.
Imagine this: You're about to begin a second job, meanwhile running a blog, YouTube channel and finishing schooling for a certification. On top of that, your family is about to move back to New York, so you want to spend as much time as you possibly can with them.
Brain: It's a lot of stuff, but I've got an agenda and I can do this.
Here's the wild card, your boyfriend tells you that a family member offered you an apartment for a discounted rate! The only thing is that it's juuuust an hour away and he isn't sure when there will be a vacancy.
Brain: What the *bleep* is going on?? This changes everything.
Stop right there! There is a way to face this without spontaneous combustion!
It can be so easy to let future factors affect the development of the present. Especially something as big as moving, I mean how can I not plan out the entire apartment right this minute?
You've got to reconvene and focus on what is imperative to accomplish right now and in the distant future. There will be a time and place to freak out and plan a big move, but right now, there isn't even an apartment.
If your dilemma happens to be the other way around, switch your tactics. If you must move out in the next 30 days, set aside the things that can wait (in my case, the certification work and business) so that you can secure your living first. Unless you spend all of your time in a library, it'll be pretty hard to maintain your work if you don't have a place to sleep.
Plan your priorities, don't let them plan themselves. That's when such factors shift from mere change to inherent chaos.
I am Chaos, and I am Waiting for You.
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