Love is Like Mind Control When You're Vulnerable

Logic and love don't mix. So, no matter how deeply you know that you've got to be with just you, yourself and you- when something dressed as love gets involved- you're (temporarily) doomed.

Pain hurts. At first glance, it just sucks. It hurts, it makes us feel bad, sometimes it requires a trip to the emergency room, therefore we don't want it. When it comes down to brass tax though, pain can be incredibly seductive and is fully capable of leading us completely astray from our desired paths.

If you're anything like me, you've prioritized love your entire life. It's always been most important to spend time with your significant other, you text them every day, and/or you're never single for too long. Since my recent break up, it's been very hard to stay away. Part of it is because, of course we wonder whether we made the right decision. The other part is simply because having him around is just so.. nice- so familiar.

Our brains are hardwired to go towards what's familiar. Whether this is by sticking you to a past lover, drawing you to the same troublesome guy, or making you crave love and cuddles because you need to feel safe, it's going to happen.

Don't let this longing debilitate you. It's okay to accept and even depend on support (for a while). What isn't okay, is using love or lust to cover your real life problems. It's true that another warm body is going to call to you, and may even be what you need at times. We can learn a lot about ourselves during the time that we spend with others. We learn things about our soft spots, sexual preferences and the walls that we build around our weaknesses. While we sometimes need others to learn about deeper parts of ourselves, solitary time is essential in establishing personal strength and independence.

If we spend all of our time leaning on and clinging to the warmth of others, we will very soon grow cold by ourselves. Once alone, it's too common for people to lose patience, compassion, confidence and security in themselves. If we are always in the company of others, our own company becomes foreign and unfamiliar- inherently making us strangers to ourselves.

To avoid this, it's important to be okay by yourself. This doesn't mean you have to isolate yourself for an extended period of time. If that works for you then, by all means go ahead. My bestie, David calls this recovery time "hermit periods". Hermit periods are brief bouts of time where you pamper yourself and simply enjoy your own company. This could be by doing things like treating yourself to coffee dates, manicures, or solo trips to the movies/museum. Whatever your preference, the most important part is to be with yourself. Put away your phone, your music, anything that draws attention away from you and the world in front of you. Reconnect with who you are and what you want absent of everyone else and their desires. This is especially helpful if you're going through a situation that requires making a difficult decision. You have all of the answers as to what is best for you in your life. You ultimately have so much power that lays beneath layers and layers of "real world". All you have to do to get back to yourself- The Wise Wild Man/Woman within- is be with yourself.

Superficial solutions to life-shaking problems will never be permanent. Fix the problem at its source- water the seed with holy, pure water- you grow a wholesomely new life (plant).

Sidenote, I wanted to let y'all know that I've released some new content on my YouTube channel!! If you're feeling like learning a bit about couch surfing and the adventures that I have had since moving out of my dad's', feel free to check it all out! :)

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